Burger fatigue has yet to set in. Writing fatigue however, is in full effect. When I’m not eating burgers, I’m at my job. I’d skip work but they pay me money, which allows me to buy more burgers. I’ll probably just take the week off next year.
Day 2 I meet @kelsey_wilkins for the incredible Chow Chow from Church. It’s among my top 3 burgers this week and I’m praying that they put it on the menu. Serve it with fries and I’d pay $11 for the meal. From there I joined @pdxkeith and friends at Pause Kitchen and Bar for the tasty Italian Sausage Burger. If you’re in the neighborhood it’s worth checking out too.
Day 3 can be summed up as delicious. I braved the lines at White Owl Social Club for the Double Lamb Burger -- which tastes just like a gyro, maybe better even. Top 3 so far. From there I tried to hit Knuckle Sandwich, who stopped selling early because everyone is only buying burgers and no one is buying their overpriced sandwiches. Put up or shut up -- this is burger week, not sandwich week. Amateurs. When is sandwich week though? Finished the night off with Slow Burger’s Pimento Cheese Burger, which was really good and had almost no wait time.
7:55 AM - I wake. It’s a 3 burger day which means I’ve gotta get one for lunch.
9:02 AM - Lunch plans are made: Widmer Brewing. @Kelsey_Wilkins is skeptical of my decision after a failed attempt on day 3 of her Burger Odyssey. She won’t be joining us.
11:24 AM - I round up @marclane and some fellow burger fiends and we head off in search of our fix.
11:43 AM - Widmer Bros. Brewing -- the restaurant is not busy at all, score! I approach the hostess, “We’re here for the burger”. She informs me that they aren’t selling it until 2pm. Kelsey was right, this is bullshit. Way to suck at burger week Widmer.
11:47 AM - Welp, Club 21 is close enough. Let’s go there.
11:55 AM - As we approach Club 21, the savory aroma of cooked beef lingers over the entire block. We must be in luck.
11:59 AM - Club 21 is awesome. They have Blazers championship memorabilia and a Demolition Man Pinball Machine. They also sell t-shirts with wolves on them. I make a mental note to come back and pick one up. I order the burger and an ice tea -- no more Rainiers for me until the weekend. They do have a burger week cocktail special, which a friend orders.
12:05 PM - We grab a table on the patio, they’ve got the grill set up only a few feet from us. I try a sip of the special cocktail -- it tastes like pure alcohol. I love you Club 21.
12:07 PM - Grill smoke is wafting all over us. I’m going to smell (more) like burgers when I get back to work.
12:12 PM - Burgers begin to arrive. Several Snapchats, Instagrams, and eating selfies begin happening in sequence of us receiving burgers.
12:20 PM - I finish. It’s cooked more than I prefer, but it’s not overdone. It’s incredibly salty though. I need more iced tea.
12:24 PM - It was a pretty standard burger with some uninteresting cabbage slaw on top, but no one dislikes it. Maybe it’s the chill atmosphere here or maybe we’re just super happy they didn’t engage in the same fuckery as Widmer.
The Knock Back
6:36 PM - I’ve been really intrigued by this next burger: Le Pâté Don’t Play. I meet up with Marc, Kelsey and the rest of the gang and we settle in on the patio.
7:03 PM - They don’t have iced tea here. I’m having water. What they do have is a vending machine full of beer koozies. We’re already winning here.
7:13 PM - We’ve been waiting for a very long time. My burger finally arrives and it looks fantastic; a beautiful bun envelops the thick patty, two slices of country pâté, arugula, chevre, pickled onions and 2 kinds of mayonnaise -- mustard mayo and sambal spicy mayo. Mayo game on point. There’s also a weird little fried thing tooth-picked on top that turns out to be a sausage ball.
7:15 PM - Fuck, this is great. The burger is overcooked but I really don’t care, all of the ingredients work perfectly together. A minute or two less on the grill and this might be a perfect 10. Maybe best burger I’ve had this week.
7:44 PM - Again, the kitchen was super backed up -- we got our last burger almost 30 minutes after the first one came out. It’s worth the wait though.
7:49 PM - I can eat more. So can Kelsey. We’ve heard East Glisan Pizza’s meatball burger is relatively small and really tasty. What does a pizza joint know about burgers though? I’m skeptical, but let’s find out.
East Glisan Pizza
8:24 PM - It’s pretty low key in here and the staff is friendly. No need to play around with the menu, we’re having the burger. Our waiter informs us that it’s not small, it’s tall.
8:41 PM - Here it comes. It looks better than the pictures we’ve seen and yes, it’s pretty tall.
8:44 PM - This one is really good too. It’s a massive, spicy pork meatball on foccacia, with sauted and pickled onions, melty mozzarella, arugula, and a marinara sauce that I’d like to drink a pint of. I’d seriously come back and pay money for just the foccacia and marinara, can’t wait to try their pizza some day. It’s all topped off with a delicious little wheel of crispy, fried cheese.
8:53 PM - That was fantastic. The only negative thing I can say is that the bread wasn’t toasted. I’m seriously stuffed. Definitely near the top of my list.
8:55 PM - Is this even a burger though? I think it’s more of a meatball sandwich presented as a burger. When is sandwich week going to be a thing?
9:24 PM - I’m fully clothed, lying in bed with the lights on. Full blown burger coma. I’m just gonna lie here for a while.
11:20 PM - Chugging water before bed. I think I’m dehydrated. I’m up to 10 burgers and it’s starting to take it’s toll. My body, mind and soul are completely shot. The Burger Odyssey is feeling like a long weekend in Vegas -- 4 days is the limit of safety and sanity. Can I make it through a full week of this?