Day 4: A Family Affair

What are the biological, genetic predispositions that make us who we are? Is it nature or nurture that influences our most notable traits? Why do we feel a deep, evolutionary urge to survive? Perhaps it’s much simpler; we merely succumb to the irresistible combination of delightfully crisped beef, melted cheese, and a fluffy bun. Today on I Had The Burger, we’re getting meta/meat-a, hypothesizing the unanswerable question: why is it that I am so drawn to cheeseburgers?

I mull over these thoughts on my first bike ride of Burger Week. It’s 7am, and I twirl down the hilly terrain of our neighborhood. 7 burgers in, and I’ve never felt so slow in my life. An average bike ride for me is 10-20 miles, but I’m huffing and puffing through the elevation, barely able to make it 3. After 1.5 miles, I have to stop in a parking lot and wheeze for a few minutes, the weight of the burgers holding me back.

It’s always when I feel most invincible that the burgers start to take their toll on me. And yet, I can’t stop…

Fill’s

To start my Burger DNA research, I recruit my mom. I need to see which parent carries the genetic code that makes me so burger obsessed. We park at Fill’s in Lake Oswego – one of the few burgers located in the suburbs.

Known more as a donut shop, Fill’s “The Triple” burger is a THREE patty monstrosity on a fluffy, fried brioche bun, designed to emulate donuts. It’s incredibly good but this complete gut bomb is enough to make me start writing my will. I recommend only ordering it if you have a death wish. This may be the burger that kills me. At the very least, it’s enough to make me rethink getting two dinner burgers. I guess you could say you really get your… FILL! (I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help it). Even though this burger ruins me, I rate it a 8.5/10.

We drive home, winding through the back roads while I try not to hurl. My mom is also unwell. Even hours later, she keeps repeating “Oof” and “I’m soooo full” leading me to believe she is in fact not the source of my burger obsession.

Hop Capital Brewing PDX

The endless work whrrrping notifications take over my day, and I’m forced to cut back to one dinner burger. Outwardly, I throw a tantrum but internally, I’m relieved since I haven’t fully recovered from the Fill’s burger. With a later start on the dinner burger, my dad is able to join me. He’s noticeably eager to experience a burger with his bizarre burger-fanatic daughter.

Traffic and timing our nemesis, we settle on the nearby Hop Capital Brewing. Two women behind us in line are decked out in burger paraphernalia. One wears a mask decorated with burger patterns, and the other wears a hat in the shape of a cheeseburger. I was in a rush while I packed, but I’m disappointed in my lack of burger gear – how could I forget these crucial necessities? I make note to be more diligent in my next travels.

Typically, I don’t order fries because it wastes delicate stomach space. However, since this will be my only burger of the night, I splurge on a side of fries and passionfruit lemonade. The lemonade ends up being a welcome addition: it’s made cocktail-style right in front of me, shaken with real lemon juice and passionfruit syrup. But I digress, we’re here for the burger.

The Hop Capital Brewing’s “Full Steam Ahead” burger is actually a bao-ger: ground beef, American cheese, caramelized onion, Rose City sauce with Aardvark hot sauce inside of a bao bun, placed gently on a bed of iceberg slaw and cucumber pickles. It’s almost like a deconstructed burger.

*Hop Capital Brewing - Full Steam Ahead*

Throughout the experience, my dad prefers to watch me work in silence, acting more as a quiet observer than an opinionated reviewer. This leads me to believe he is also not the source of my distinguishable privy for burgers.

Maybe my Asian heritage makes me biased (bao-esd?), but this rises in the ranks as the burger to beat. The bao bun is doughy and warm, but it’s the right amount of crispy – not too breaded or overly hard. It’s a little small for my liking, coming in at a slider size, but it wins a lot of conceptual and creativity points. The flavors work extremely well together. Every single bite is delicious and memorable. I would eat this every single day if I could, no ifs, ands, or buns about it. I give it my highest score yet, 9.5/10 but pending other burger scores, I may even raise it to a 10.

It doesn’t photograph well, but this bao burger teaches me an important lesson: it’s not about how it looks on the outside, but what’s inside that really counts. While scientists are still trying to figure out the deeper causation of my passion for patties, at least we can assume that my insides will always strive to find the greatest burgers out there. It’s in my DNA.