Burger Odyssey Day 7: The Grand Finale

DAY 7

7:25 AM: My alarm goes off. I can’t figure out where I am because I’m still half-asleep, recovering from the burger-coma of Day 6.

7:31 AM: I remember why I set my alarm. The bad news is I’m going surfing today so I will miss out on a lunch burger. The good news is I will be soooo hungry when I return. I haven’t experienced hunger in a long time after eating so many burgers. At this point it’s just been chewin’ and reviewin’. I’m excited to have an empty stomach again.

4:01 PM: Driving home, and all I can think about is what burger I am going to have as my grand finale. It’s a lot of pressure to make sure I pick the best one and go out with a bang. After much internal debate and research, I decide to make Knuckle Sandwich my last burger of burger week.

5:13 PM: I’m not even close to the destination and I smell burgers. It’s official: burgers have taken over all of my senses. I am now one with all burgers. I have achieved divine burger nirvana.

Knuckle Sandwich

5:24 PM: I arrive at Knuckle Sandwich and I’m starving. I tell the cashier that I’ve eaten 13 burgers thus far. He gives me a fist pound and says “Daaaaaamn.” I feel like a celebrity.

5:25 PM: As he rings me up for my final burger of burger week, he says, “looks like you saved the best for last.” Quite a bold statement, but promising nevertheless. Since it’s my last burger, I decide to go big and order fries and a coke to really mark this pinnacle achievement.

5:32 PM: @nnanpei shows up for moral support. We discuss where he will eat his last burger, and he cheers me on as my burger arrives. It has been a wild ride, and I am glad to have my #1 burger buddy by my side for this momentous occasion.  

5:34 PM: The Knuckle Sandwich Piñata burger is a beef patty with chipotle cream cheese, housemade guacamole, roasted poblanos, melted pepper jack, bacon, and fried onions. Holy. Chit. It is sooooo good. The bun is INCREDIBLE. It’s fluffy and it melts in the mouth with each bite. The guacamole is to die for, and the chipotle cream cheese adds to the smoothness of this burger. I was afraid this burger would be too spicy for me, but it’s perfect -- the poblano peppers add nice flavor but they aren’t too overwhelming. I rate it a high 9.5. This is indeed the best choice I could make to round out burger week.

  Knuckle Sandwich's Piñata burger

Knuckle Sandwich's Piñata burger

6:02 PM: And just like that, it’s over. I feel like a recent graduate: excited about my accomplishment, yet completely unsure of the future. For the past 7 days it’s been a journey of burger-eating, bloating,and blogging. I can’t believe I’m finished. I’ve completed the burger odyssey and I am still alive (barely). To cope, I meditate on an inspirational tumblr quote reblogged by a 14-year-old girl:  ~*Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.*~

PORTLAND BURGER WEEK RECAP:

OVERALL RANKING

While they all tied in my reviews, I decided that I need to give conclusive results. All were judged on a scale of 1-10, based on taste, creativity, and overall experience.

First Place: Knock Back’s Le Pate Don’t Play

Second Place: Church’s Chow Chow Burger

Third Place: Knuckle Sandwich Piñata Burger

STATISTICS

Total burgers eaten: 14

Total money spent: $131.67 (whoops…)

Number of times venue sold out of burgers: 1

Total number of burger photos: 48

Total pounds lost/gained: 3.5 pounds lost (WTF?! After a lot of investigation,  Nick and I concluded that the “magic burger diet” is a real thing. We both lost weight instead of putting it on. My guess is that we were so full that we didn’t snack throughout the day).

Total amount of times throwing up: 1

Completing Burger Odyssey: PRICELESS.

I can’t wait to see what next year’s burger week brings… Signing off in all of my meaty glory, your burger buddy forever, Kelsey Wilkins.

  Me and my idol/mentor Guy Fieri

Me and my idol/mentor Guy Fieri

In case you missed the journey, find each day of the Burger Odyssey below:
Day 1 (Written by @nnanpei)
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5 & 6